More Than a Feeling

Posted: November 1, 2013 in Music
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

The other night, I went out to a local poetry jam at the invite of an acquaintance of mine. He’s a good dude and has pretty good taste in good, authentic entertainment, so I was with it. I initially had no intention of performing, so when I got there and the host asked if I wanted to sign up, I kind of ducked and dodged it until he got the idea. As I watched people braver than I express themselves through song, guitar solos, and poetry, something in me began to burn. My leg was shaking uncontrollably and the more I listened, clapped, whistled and thanked people for their performances, I could not help but want—no, need to be up there myself.

It was more than just a desire to be seen or heard, so much more than just a whim, and more than doing it just because I knew I had the talent to do it. It felt like a pull. It was a natural phenomenon that was triggered by being around others so passionate about their art. It was so much more than just a feeling that I can barely express it through words. So with that, I signed my name, I was called and I went up on stage.

I performed two of my songs and received, what I believe, was the biggest applause of the night. I walked back to my seat as other performers and audience members alike showered me with praise. It was nice and I was happy to be acknowledged, but I had done it for completely selfish reasons. I did it to quiet that desire in myself. I did it because I needed to do it. I did it because I love to do it. Eventually, I may not be such a selfish prick, but for now, this is for me. This is for my sanity. This is to quell the fire in my chest. You are all, however, invited to enjoy what comes of it.

 

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