It’s Been Awhile

Posted: April 28, 2014 in Personal
Tags: , , ,

When forward progress is impeded, what do you do?? Do you give up and stay where you stand, do you go through the obstacle, or around it?? In my particular situation, my health is a major hurdle to advancing my life. I have no diagnosis as to what is wrong with me, I have medical debt in at least 2 states and can’t hold a job. The fear of passing out in the middle of driving has, for at least the last 2 weeks, even kept me from driving and the joint and muscle pain makes me feel like a man twice my senior. So then, what do I do with this obstacle?? I refuse to allow my life to be stagnant so staying where I stand is not an option. I’ve tried several times to go through it with less than favorable results (i.e. emergency room visits). What I am then left with is the options of working around it which, so far, has proven to be as difficult, if not more so, than going through it.

Working around it causes me to focus solely on what I want (creative industry jobs like writing and music) but in nontraditional ways. Where most hip hop artists would be doing hundreds of shows throughout the year, I have to find ways to digitally emulate that experience to reach more people with less physical effort. Where most hip hop artists would hit the streets and hand out fliers and/or CDs, I have to find ways to emulate that face to face interaction to anonymous masses via social media by myself. In lieu of a job, since I can’t seem to be at one for more than a month without scaring someone half to death when I pass out, I have to find other creative ways to make money, which typically means relying on the assistance of someone else. It will probably be quite sometime before I am where I want and need to be and even longer still before I find out what the hell is actually wrong with me.

Now, though all these things do suck, they do not deter me. Quite the contrary, they inspire me. To be able to accomplish one’s goals regardless of hardships is what life is about. I have the moral support of so many who see more potential in me than even I do and it makes me want to make it just to prove them right. There are so many more that have no idea what I go through who would call me lazy or weak and I want to make it just to prove them wrong. There are so many people out there who may be having similar issues and have no one to relate to and I want to make it just to let them know that they can.

It won’t be easy, but of course, nothing worth having ever is. I’ll holla atchu soon #salute

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