A Bit of Self Realization

Posted: January 7, 2015 in Personal
Tags: , , ,

I’m fairly certain I’ve written something like this before. I’m almost absolutely sure I even used the same title. Seeing as how I am human and susceptible to error, I’m more than likely going to write about certain things more than once. Anywho, every now and then I feel pretty useless and I attempt to fit into the good ol’ American dream of success in order to shake that feeling. In the pursuit of said dream, I usually find myself mentally and physically drained and feeling more depressed than I did at the outset.  In order to pull myself out of this new found funk, I take the energy I was burning through to do something I didn’t really want to do and reinvest it in myself. I immediately find that I’m expending half the energy and feeling twice as good even if I’m not monetarily successful.

I then wonder to myself: am I happy being broke? No no…that can’t be right. Who would be happy relying on other people for food, shelter, hell to even afford medical treatment and supplements just to get by? I mean, I enjoy being there for people, being free to talk to people and help them with their problems. I never have to worry about whether or not I’m free to go to the studio, write a song, play a new game, see friends which is all awesome, but that can’t be enough. So then where does this joy come from for doing something for nothing?

I guess the support of those who believe in me and the potential to live well off something I actually enjoy is enough to sustain me. I suppose I’m just really simple. I’m not 100% sure any of this actually makes any sense at all. What I am sure of, however, is I will never let anyone make me believe that I am on the wrong path. I’ll not take another detour, the path itself is winding enough. Though being rich isn’t the goal, all I can think about is the title of 50 Cent’s debut album: Get Rich or Die Tryin’

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