Music of the Mind

Posted: January 24, 2015 in Personal, Short Stories
Tags: , , , , ,

Not really sure if this counts as a story. Actually, I’m 100% sure it doesn’t, but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I wanna. Big whoop wanna fight about it?

Such a combination of sounds in my head. All with their own meaning and references, each just as important as the others. The sounds are my signs of life. They can be drowned out from time to time when I try to numb myself, but the music never stops.
I can hear the hip-hop and it makes me think of home. Streets I’m so separated from and people I can barely keep in touch with. A place I love so much, but can never see myself again. All the stories intertwined with my own thoughts of each situation filling the hook. The bass thumping like nikes and tims on the block. I know it so well, but I can barely hear it now.
I can hear the rock and it personifies me. My deepest thoughts and fears in guitar riffs and screams. Self examination for me is as difficult to ignore as that bass line but hard for anyone else to notice. Those cymbals crashing…I hear them. I hear them every time I have to face a realization about myself or my life that I drowned out by turning the volume up.
I can hear the R&B and it is everything I imagined love to be and everything heartbreak is. The harmonies, the melodies…they understand the feelings in my heart even if I can’t fully comprehend them. They reassure me that I’m not the only one whose heart beats in pursuit of that love. Lyrics of others who have chased and been chased, gained and lost, found love eternal and been broken forever remind me that I’m not crazy for knowing both sides of the coin of one of the world’s strongest forces.
I even hear that J-pop and oddly enough, it reminds me of the world outside of myself. Not just the people around the corner, but those around the world who feel how I feel about these sounds. The people whose only escape is music from a multitude of situations that my self loathing pales in comparison to. The unspoken unity humanity can have through music can be almost overwhelming when you actually think about it, but it can also be quite the comfort. Knowing that regardless of the language, the music is still relatable proves that, physical and locational differences aside, we’re all basically going through the same things.
And all this music plays in my mind until it doesn’t….and when it doesn’t….


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