Sleep

Posted: June 9, 2015 in Personal
Tags: , ,

Sleep is the cousin of death they say. It is no wonder then that thoughts of my mortality flood my mind at night. Will this be the last time I close my eyes? Will death adopt me tonight? It’s not so much a question of what lies in the great beyond. I honestly don’t care. A heaven or hell doesn’t sway my thoughts. The fear of a possible eternity of regrets for all I haven’t accomplished, all I haven’t said, is a far greater concern. And then those times come when I’m so tired, so sleepy, so out of it that I think, this may be it. Maybe this is my last week alive. The thought has come and gone so often that I’m numb to it. The panic has lessened, but the fears are still there. I wonder how foolish I’ll think I am when I’m 85 and still alive.

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