Blind Eye

Posted: February 2, 2017 in Personal
Tags: , , ,

I can’t work without a goal. I’ve lost that idealist part of myself. The problem is, I’m also losing the ability to see much further than my nose. I meet requirements 1-25 and nothing happens then I’m told i need to do 26-50 before I actually see results. I want to say that it’s not that I don’t believe, but I don’t believe anymore. I’ve done steps 1-100 and never taken a solid step forward. I don’t believe the dreams other people try to sell me. I don’t believe they can do what they say they can. I don’t believe much of…anything any more. I’m not 100% sure I believe in my own visions/dreams any more.

They make…made…*shrug* so much sense, but now…now I’m talking to myself through my laptop on a public forum because I can’t imagine what else to do at this particular moment. I guess at some point everyone either achieves their dreams or they become too cynical to pursue them anymore. I may be at the razor’s edge of the latter.

This isn’t a plea for a savior, simply stating my current mind state. I’ll either adjust and find some other form of survival or just fade away as the world should work.

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